I always notice the dysfunctional dynamic of human relationships because most places where you encounter it, people are trying to pretend it isn't happening.

I never write about CIA conspiracies or the FBI or mafia or anything like that because I just don't understand that world. But I think I do understand individual human harmfulness.

In my opinion, a superior mind counts for nothing unless accompanied by a superior heart.

Tell them I’ve two spare rooms here. It might not be as grand as the Bloxham, but everybody’s still alive when they wake up in the morning.

If there’s an aspect of your life that’s making you unhappy and you can escape from it, why wait? Too many people stick around and try to improve things, which often means slogging your guts out to compensate for the deficiencies of others. Personally, I’m a fan of the discard: leave it; move on.

One ought not to use words carelessly, or even spontaneously. Once they are launched, they cannot be called back.

I will be angry until my dying day, Mr Catchpool. Greater sinners persecuting lesser sinners in the name of morality – that’s something worth raging about.

What they’d got was a fat, balding academic who bandied about the phrase “family annihilation”, especially when there were cameras pointed at him, and mentioned the titles of books and articles he’d written to anyone who would listen; who blatantly thought he was the mutt’s nuts, as Sellers had so aptly put it.

One cannot do such harm to another and not wound one’s own soul in the process.

Anyone who cares more about pleasing other people than about their own happiness – anyone who believes, deep down, that everyone else matters more than they do – learns fluent dishonesty at a young age.